where I went to school is none of your business

As I venture onto all of these social media sites, I am asked a lot of questions. I am happy to give my name, and sometimes my hometown. But the they start asking all kinds of personal questions, such as my place of employment, where I went to school, and the school before that, and before that. Where have I lived? Where have I visited? Phone number, Email, Height, weight (like I'm gonna tell the truth on that one), cholesterol level, social security number, last movie I went to see, books I've read, people I've associated with.

Yes, I realize this is SOCIAL media. They say they only want to help me connect with others of similar interests. What they don't tell you is their mission statement as collectors of HUMINT: Human Intelligence. They are probably directly connected to NSA and are feeding them all the data you consider personal, but are willing to just throw out there on some sort of chat line or instant message conduit or facebook or BlogSpot or AOL instant chat.

All the people who know me, and who I want to know already have ways to contact me. I have no need to feed the American form of KGB or Taliban or whatever super secret organizations may be out there all my personal info.

So, I will tell them I was born in Riga, Latvia, and I went to school at the Sorbonne in Paris after graduating from Winesap High School in Bat Cave, North Carolina. I currently work as a spammer and a hacker for the New York Daily News and Pravda. My contacts include Jerry Jones, Eric Snowden (my greatest hero), Fidel Castro, the real, still alive Osama Bin Laden, Kim Jong Un, Michelle Obama, and her soulmate Vladimir Putin.

I will say I have travelled to China, Viet Nam, Moscow, Havana, Caracas, Munich, Cairo, and Lucerne.

Because I am forced to log into the IRS and Social Security sites, they have my address and SSAN as well as one of my Email addresses. (along with my current IP address).

Now all of the above is just a load of crap, but maybe, just maybe, putting all those trigger words together (oops, I forgot AL QAEDA) will make the NSA, FBI or whatever spy-on-Americans agency out there look at my blog. The more hits I get, the better chances I have of getting sponsors for the site. And that means money in my pocket.

See, the American dream of greed is not yet dead.

But I still won't tell you where I went to school!